Why I am grateful for Exercise

Less than 3 weeks ago I was still having radiation treatment for my cancer. I was nearing the end of a period of my life where surgeries, chemo and radiation had taken a toll on me mentally but in huge physical ways as well. Prior to going into my treatment plan I had been what I would consider to be a very active individual. Exercise had long ago transcended from something that I "had" to do to something that I loved and looked forward to. Exercise in whatever form it may be taking had been my personal me time. My time for myself where I could legitimately focus on just me, my own needs, my own thoughts and putting my health (and my mental sanity!) first.

All the research that I had done around exercise and cancer pointed towards positive trends for those individuals who continued with some form of exercise whilst going through treatment, especially if you are having chemo. The logic is sound. Exercise not only strengthens your body, muscles and mind but aids in blood and oxygen flow helping detox the body and get rid of toxins through the process of sweating. I was ready to jump right in, tackle cancer through treatment and in the gym. No problem! Well that lasted about 2 minutes....

Within the first 3 days of my treatment, 3 rounds of radiation and 1 chemo session I was a mess. A mess. There are scales of how people react to chemo, clearly I was not going to be one of these individuals the research wrote about where I would be staying the course with an exercise regime. Nope. My destiny was to be one of the individuals that couldn't stop throwing up no matter what drugs the drs gave them. I stopped eating, I had no appetite and was throwing everything up, I couldn't even keep water down. Cutting a long story short the side effects of my treatments left me with stomach problems, sick, exhausted, chronically dehydrated and in a position where I didn't eat anything for days on end. My story got even worse when I caught an infection after chemo one day and spent over a week in hospital clinging onto my last shred of strength. Exercise was fantasy land. Suddenly I was barely able to walk. Basic tasks like having a shower or brushing my teeth were beyond my reach. I had no strength. Hitting my rock bottom physically was a low point and made me realize how much I took my incredible body and it's ability to be physical for me for granted. 

I was and am now completely humbled by what my body does for me. Regaining my physical strength and making it a priority for me turned into my focus for when I finished treatment. When I started My Ultimate Health Project I started exercising again so am midway through week 2, and it's tough. It's hard starting from the bottom again and pushing through when something doesn't come easy but balancing that with being kind to myself and listening to my body. It's not just the physical challenge but a mental one too, understanding the difference between your body saying you can't do something or your mind saying it doesn't want to. We all gravitate to what we enjoy and what we are good at, it's human nature. We don't like situations that make us feel uncomfortable or we are simply average or less than average at. But that doesn't change unless you keep on going. 

For me every single day I am simply grateful for the opportunity to participate, to show up, to try it, even to fail. Because you know what? If I'm failing at it that means I'm actually doing it and 3 weeks ago I could barely do a single thing. Failing is progress from nothing. Soon I won't find it as tough as I do now, I will have persevered and won't be starting from the bottom again. Exercise is about loving your body and prioritising your health. If you are healthy use it, move yourself, be physical. You owe it to yourself and your well being because one day it simply may not be possible for you.

I took a little selfie at my first SoulCycle class since finishing treatment. It was amazing to be able to do one of my favorite workouts again. As I said I am grateful for the opportunity to participate in anything to do with my life!