It's Thanksgiving week! That means one thing. Nope not turkey, or strange dishes like sweet potato with marshmallows or crazy traffic jams as people travel to see loved ones. It means it is time to be thankful! I love this holiday, yes I am English but I have adopted this day like it's my own. For me this week on My Ultimate Health Project couldn't be anything other than gratitude.
Gratitude shouldn't be a one day USA-citizens-only affair, it should be a lifestyle for all of us. Why? Because gratitude will bring you a different perspective on your life, it will bring you peace and contentment in your life ultimately making it more fulfilled.
Gratitude by definition "is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness." How often do we fail at being grateful though? Not because we are unwilling or not ready to be thankful or show kindness, but because we miss it entirely. Too often we miss the opportunity to be grateful, we can become bitter and consumed by life's blows and injustices we feel that we have been dealt and our focus is on what we don't have rather than what we do.
Some of the most inspiring people that I have in my life live their lives in gratitude, they aren't walking around making remarks on the blue in the sky or the fresh air, they aren't excessively thanking every single person, they simply don't bemoan their situations. They are realistic, they know when they've been dealt a crappy hand they just have a different perspective on it and focus their energies on what they have in their lives. If you met some of these people you would never believe some of the tragic situations they have faced. They have grace and strength in the face of awful adversity and they are totally authentic.
One of my closest friends said something to me once that I have never forgotten and gave me incredible insight into her perspective on life. She said she views life as a cookie jar, there are multiple cookies in there, just because someone else gets a cookie it doesn't mean that eventually there won't be a cookie for her. I was floored. A normal human response when we feel that we are suffering, is an inability to be happy for anyone else who has what we want. A fear that someone else taking a cookie would mean no more cookie for us. But if you shift your perspective, if you are grateful, you realize that there still is a cookie for you.
If I told people my cancer story and the journey that I've been on I am sure that most people would have compassion, some may even think that it's a sad affair. Am I grateful that I had cancer? Absolutely not! No way. Lets clear that up right now, it's up there in horrible things that can befall any individual and now here I am unable to have more children and in menopause as a consequence so I'm not about to start lying and saying I am grateful about these things. I'm only human. But here is the clincher, I'm grateful for the perspectives it taught me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and focussing on the things I can't have for my life that I once wanted, I'm solely focused on everything that I do have and the things I can do. No more children? Fine! Instead I'm so incredibly grateful that I am physically strong enough to pick up my son and cuddle him, that I can make him giggle like a maniac and that he still has me with him as his mother. All things that weren't possible at one stage of my treatment. That level of gratefulness far outweighs any perceived loss on my part.
So what is my objective this week?
For me this gratitude week is about shifting my perspective to understand there are cookies for all of us. I'm going to be kind to everyone around me and to show thanks to others for kindness.
It's also about paying homage to some of the key people in my cancer journey. Some are obvious but there are other unsung heroes that have helped me without even knowing me, people who have made a profound impact on my life through the kindness of their own hearts and spirit of generosity. They probably don't even realize how much of an impact they have made.
Finally I am going to give thanks for me, something I never do. It feels self absorbed and indulgent and I think most of us totally suck at self-love. We can see the good in our family and friends but are constantly irritated by our own failings, imperfections and short comings. Very rarely do we celebrate what makes us the person we are and why that's a good thing.
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