Perception on self love

I'm closing out gratitude week with the thought that sometimes there is an individual out there whose value and needs get overlooked more often than not. An individual who we speak to badly, are dismissive of, or criticize. That individual is ourselves. 

Most of the time our loved ones and their needs are at the forefront of our minds and our preoccupation is in making sure they have fully what they need mentally and physically. This is what gives us our humanity.

Kindness and compassion should be traits not just reserved for your family and friends but for yourself as well. Self love is not self indulgent or absorbed, nor vain. It instead allows us our well being to be able to fully nurture and give to others. The way I think about it is how an airplane safety demonstration tells you to put on your air mask should an emergency situation arise. You put your mask on first to help others. Not because you are being selfish or putting your needs ahead of other peoples'. Quite the opposite, so you are in a position to be able to help them. You will be no good to anyone depleted and worn down of self love.

It took a while for me to change my perception on this. You can be so caught up with what you're not, what you haven't achieved, how you're not lived up to unrealistic expectations that you've set for yourself that you miss the joy and happiness that is happening in your life right there and then. Being kind to yourself changes your view and makes you recognize qualities and traits that have gone unappreciated. Suddenly you will come from a place of gratitude focussed on what makes you awesome rather than where you are lacking.

Just think - it's only how other people who love you see you .

A thanksgiving cancer note to my husband

Thank you seems so small, so insignificant in the big scheme of things, how do you ever truly convey the gratitude that you have for someone that does more than love you unwaveringly, but cares for you in a way neither of you anticipated? When you get married you may expect that somewhere down the line in the very far and distant future you will both be old and will be looking after each other, and that is why you're together because you want to play those roles and be there for each other.

(2007)

What about when you're in your 30s, some of the best years of your life - what then? Does it still apply? What happens when you're facing challenges and decisions that are going to impact the course of the rest of your life?

My husband found out. This wasn't a journey that either of us wanted, we had a new baby and were meant to be enjoying this new stage of our lives. Instead my husband became my full-time caregiver. Every day without fail he came to the hospital for all my surgeries, radiation and chemotherapy. He sat there waiting for hours as I was inserted with IV after IV in chronic states of pain, dehydration and fatigue. He held my hand while they took endless blood, he dressed me because I couldn't dress myself, pushed me in a wheelchair when I could no longer walk, put blankets on me when I was cold during chemotherapy, brushed my teeth for me, washed my hair and made me laugh. 

He never patronized me and forced me to do anything I didn't want to do. He always reassured me during the endless meetings with Drs that I was still ME. That I was still entitled and capable of making my own decisions and choices. I wasn't just some medical statistic to him being pushed through the machinery that is cancer treatment. He knew where the line was when he had to push me to get up in the morning and the times I really just couldn't.

He did this and his full time job, looked after our son and our dogs all at the same time.

He never once complained he was tired or upset and never conveyed anything other than the most amazing emotional strength I have ever seen. Even when I was in hospital with suspected pneumonia after chemotherapy, my heart rate hovering at 28bpm for two days and an electric shock crash cart next to my hospital bed my husband kept on going.

No one ever really asked how he was, everyone asked how I was. He was the invisible warrior, my unsung hero. Without my husband I would have given up. Without him all that's possible in my here and now wouldn't be.

He will absolutely hate this post, he's a very private person. But on Thanksgiving it couldn't not be about him. To me he's the glue that kept me and our little family together and for that I will never stop being grateful.

Why I am grateful for Exercise

Less than 3 weeks ago I was still having radiation treatment for my cancer. I was nearing the end of a period of my life where surgeries, chemo and radiation had taken a toll on me mentally but in huge physical ways as well. Prior to going into my treatment plan I had been what I would consider to be a very active individual. Exercise had long ago transcended from something that I "had" to do to something that I loved and looked forward to. Exercise in whatever form it may be taking had been my personal me time. My time for myself where I could legitimately focus on just me, my own needs, my own thoughts and putting my health (and my mental sanity!) first.

All the research that I had done around exercise and cancer pointed towards positive trends for those individuals who continued with some form of exercise whilst going through treatment, especially if you are having chemo. The logic is sound. Exercise not only strengthens your body, muscles and mind but aids in blood and oxygen flow helping detox the body and get rid of toxins through the process of sweating. I was ready to jump right in, tackle cancer through treatment and in the gym. No problem! Well that lasted about 2 minutes....

Within the first 3 days of my treatment, 3 rounds of radiation and 1 chemo session I was a mess. A mess. There are scales of how people react to chemo, clearly I was not going to be one of these individuals the research wrote about where I would be staying the course with an exercise regime. Nope. My destiny was to be one of the individuals that couldn't stop throwing up no matter what drugs the drs gave them. I stopped eating, I had no appetite and was throwing everything up, I couldn't even keep water down. Cutting a long story short the side effects of my treatments left me with stomach problems, sick, exhausted, chronically dehydrated and in a position where I didn't eat anything for days on end. My story got even worse when I caught an infection after chemo one day and spent over a week in hospital clinging onto my last shred of strength. Exercise was fantasy land. Suddenly I was barely able to walk. Basic tasks like having a shower or brushing my teeth were beyond my reach. I had no strength. Hitting my rock bottom physically was a low point and made me realize how much I took my incredible body and it's ability to be physical for me for granted. 

I was and am now completely humbled by what my body does for me. Regaining my physical strength and making it a priority for me turned into my focus for when I finished treatment. When I started My Ultimate Health Project I started exercising again so am midway through week 2, and it's tough. It's hard starting from the bottom again and pushing through when something doesn't come easy but balancing that with being kind to myself and listening to my body. It's not just the physical challenge but a mental one too, understanding the difference between your body saying you can't do something or your mind saying it doesn't want to. We all gravitate to what we enjoy and what we are good at, it's human nature. We don't like situations that make us feel uncomfortable or we are simply average or less than average at. But that doesn't change unless you keep on going. 

For me every single day I am simply grateful for the opportunity to participate, to show up, to try it, even to fail. Because you know what? If I'm failing at it that means I'm actually doing it and 3 weeks ago I could barely do a single thing. Failing is progress from nothing. Soon I won't find it as tough as I do now, I will have persevered and won't be starting from the bottom again. Exercise is about loving your body and prioritising your health. If you are healthy use it, move yourself, be physical. You owe it to yourself and your well being because one day it simply may not be possible for you.

I took a little selfie at my first SoulCycle class since finishing treatment. It was amazing to be able to do one of my favorite workouts again. As I said I am grateful for the opportunity to participate in anything to do with my life!

My Ultimate Health Project - Week 2 - Gratitude

It's Thanksgiving week! That means one thing. Nope not turkey, or strange dishes like sweet potato with marshmallows or crazy traffic jams as people travel to see loved ones. It means it is time to be thankful! I love this holiday, yes I am English but I have adopted this day like it's my own. For me this week on My Ultimate Health Project couldn't be anything other than gratitude. 

Gratitude shouldn't be a one day USA-citizens-only affair, it should be a lifestyle for all of us. Why? Because gratitude will bring you a different perspective on your life, it will bring you peace and contentment in your life ultimately making it more fulfilled.

Gratitude by definition "is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness." How often do we fail at being grateful though? Not because we are unwilling or not ready to be thankful or show kindness, but because we miss it entirely. Too often we miss the opportunity to be grateful, we can become bitter and consumed by life's blows and injustices we feel that we have been dealt and our focus is on what we don't have rather than what we do.

Some of the most inspiring people that I have in my life live their lives in gratitude, they aren't walking around making remarks on the blue in the sky or the fresh air, they aren't excessively thanking every single person, they simply don't bemoan their situations. They are realistic, they know when they've been dealt a crappy hand they just have a different perspective on it and focus their energies on what they have in their lives. If you met some of these people you would never believe some of the tragic situations they have faced. They have grace and strength in the face of awful adversity and they are totally authentic. 

One of my closest friends said something to me once that I have never forgotten and gave me incredible insight into her perspective on life. She said she views life as a cookie jar, there are multiple cookies in there, just because someone else gets a cookie it doesn't mean that eventually there won't be a cookie for her. I was floored. A normal human response when we feel that we are suffering, is an inability to be happy for anyone else who has what we want. A fear that someone else taking a cookie would mean no more cookie for us. But if you shift your perspective, if you are grateful, you realize that there still is a cookie for you.

If I told people my cancer story and the journey that I've been on I am sure that most people would have compassion, some may even think that it's a sad affair. Am I grateful that I had cancer? Absolutely not! No way. Lets clear that up right now, it's up there in horrible things that can befall any individual and now here I am unable to have more children and in menopause as a consequence so I'm not about to start lying and saying I am grateful about these things. I'm only human. But here is the clincher, I'm grateful for the perspectives it taught me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and focussing on the things I can't have for my life that I once wanted, I'm solely focused on everything that I do have and the things I can do. No more children? Fine! Instead I'm so incredibly grateful that I am physically strong enough to pick up my son and cuddle him, that I can make him giggle like a maniac and that he still has me with him as his mother. All things that weren't possible at one stage of my treatment. That level of gratefulness far outweighs any perceived loss on my part. 

So what is my objective this week?

For me this gratitude week is about shifting my perspective to understand there are cookies for all of us. I'm going to be kind to everyone around me and to show thanks to others for kindness.

It's also about paying homage to some of the key people in my cancer journey. Some are obvious but there are other unsung heroes that have helped me without even knowing me, people who have made a profound impact on my life through the kindness of their own hearts and spirit of generosity. They probably don't even realize how much of an impact they have made. 

Finally I am going to give thanks for me, something I never do. It feels self absorbed and indulgent and I think most of us totally suck at self-love. We can see the good in our family and friends but are constantly irritated by our own failings, imperfections and short comings. Very rarely do we celebrate what makes us the person we are and why that's a good thing.

P.S If you like the more nutritional / foodie stuff that was at the heart of Week 1 Detox don't worry it's not gone. It's still an important part of My Ultimate Health Project and you can keep uptodate on what I am cooking and eating over on my Facebook page or Instagram account. https://www.facebook.com/myultimatehealthproject or user name on Instagram myultimatehealthproject

Tumeric and how to incorporate it in your diet

You've potentially heard of turmeric before, it's certainly gained a lot of press these last couple of years as research into it's superfood capabilities has been more publicly read. It is a spice that is found a lot in curry so if you've eaten one of those then somewhere along the line you've probably had turmeric  

Without a doubt turmeric is one of the most powerful anti-inflammatory food components and therefore a perfect little feature for detox week. Tumeric also has super cancer fighting powers which comes down to a little something contained in it called curcumin. When  it comes to cancer research has shown that it inhibits cancer cell growth as well as forcing cancer cells to die, enhances the effectiveness of chemo and reduces tumor growth.

Tumeric and I were introduced to each other through a very good friend of mine and fellow health nut. Tumeric and I only met two months before my cancer diagnosis - if only it had been sooner! This little cancer fighter can be found as a component of most of the dishes that I now make. I'm obviously hugely taken with any product that has been found to reduce tumor size and inhibit cancer cell growth! 

For the most impact and to be assimilated into the body turmeric needs to be mixed with black pepper and olive oil.

Quick Recipe suggestion
1/2 tablespoon of turmeric
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Pinch of black pepper

Voila! Add to salad as a dressing, soups or vegetables.

Coffee - Treat or Necessity? And some tips on cutting back if you need them….

Looking back I can pinpoint exactly where my relationship with coffee began, I had just started my first job in London after graduating university. Every morning I would stop off at a Starbucks and pick up my coffee and my cheese filled pastry (yup I really did eat this every day!!) before I went to my office. I took comfort in the ritual and the continuity of this routine as I navigated myself through the unknowns and insecurities of my first job, how to integrate, make work relationships and try and be successful.

Having once upon a time enjoyed coffee as a treat this new routine of mine turned it into something else….a morning habit.

My mornings would revolve around this new routine and on weekends I would have to ensure that whatever I was doing I would be able to incorporate coffee into the morning. The habit evolved and suddenly it couldn’t be just any coffee. No it had to be Starbucks. Eventually I had a new routine added to my morning coffee - the 3pm afternoon coffee routine. That 3pm coffee trip became a way to boost a bit of energy, pop out of the office for five minutes and perhaps a social walk with a colleague. 

I had a rule though that I lived by - I never had more than two cups of coffee a day. So I felt ok about my caffeine consumption. But we’ve all seen the size of the venti cup in Starbucks haven’t we, that bad boy is basically 4 cups in one! I used to joke that if I was ever pregnant giving up alcohol wouldn’t even be an issue for me but the thought of giving up my beloved caffeine upset me! Spoiler alert, when I was pregnant I did give up coffee relatively easily when you're thinking about someone else's health rather than your own. Clearly I was addicted but I just loved my routine so much I couldn’t imagine letting it go.

The word on the street aka formal research, on caffeine is probably one of the most confusing topics with people genuinely unsure if coffee is ok for you or as bad and addictive as crack. There are definitely polarized views out there and if you wanted to do you own research you can easily find arguments for a coffee free life or a life with coffee.

Coffee does have health benefits, but it also hinders major bodily functions such as increasing stress hormones and elevating your perception of stress. That’s why some of us get an adrenaline kick with coffee or may even feel their heart race and get sweaty palms. Caffeine can raise blood pressure which is linked to heart disease as well as leading to psychological reactions that can cause irritability, agitation and an inability to fall asleep. It also can cause inflammation within the body and can play a detrimental effect if you are trying to get pregnant.

Before you throw away your membership to Starbucks or your Nespresso machine remember that we all have very different bodily responses to caffeine, some of us are sensitive and others can consume a lot with seemingly no impact. Think about your personal circumstances when deciding if you consume too much caffeine. Do you have trouble falling and staying asleep? Are you tired but feel edgy or wired? Do you sweat excessively, have heart palpitations or mood swings? Does your eye ever twitch or other muscles? All of these are symptoms that you probably have worn your adrenal glands out and that you should definitely cut back if not cut out the caffeine.

Consumption of coffee is such a personal choice because I understand how my psychology was wrapped up in my own coffee intake. But given this is detox week I will say that the best place to be as a coffee drinker is in the treat category. If you are honestly in the necessity column you don’t need to jump to cut it out of your life but try and move yourself to a place where it becomes a treat.

For me on detox week caffeine is out and that’s fine by me. Coffee was one of the first things that became truly repulsive to me taste wise once I was into chemo and radiation. On top of that I couldn’t imagine putting something into my fragile body that would make my depleted organs and cells have to work even harder in looking after me so I could get beyond the cancer. My immune system needs all the help it can get at the moment and coffee just doesn’t play an additive role in that.

I doubt that I am off coffee forever though, in a normal world for me I like the taste but detoxing has at least allowed myself to move from the necessity column into the treat category. And that is where I plan to stay.

Some tips for cutting back or out on coffee

• Don’t go cold turkey one day. You will probably struggle and be less likely to succeed
• Substitute your morning coffee for hot water and lemon, it will help reducing your caffeine craving as well as having amazing detox benefits in itself
• Keep herbal drinks everywhere, home, in your bag and in the office. If you have a craving try having a hot herbal tea first (a close friend gave me this tip a while ago and it works!)
• Drink more water, it’s important to stay hydrated anyway but can help with alertness if you are cutting back or out on coffee
• Exercise and eat well. Exercise gives you a natural high from endorphins. Non processed food will give you energy, so eat more of the right stuff and you will feel better

Juicing for detox week and beyond

Practically everywhere you turn nowadays people are preaching the virtues of juicing. At first I jumped onto the bandwagon because the ability to pick up a juice was so accessible living in New York City. It was minimum hassle for me, no commitment to a juicer, no buying stuff and no clean up. I didn't necessarily understand why it was so good for you, I just bought into the concept that anything that fruit / vegetable based is healthy.

My knowledge has evolved over time and whilst I wouldn't put myself in the camp of the seriously committed juicers out there I have on occasion done the odd couple of juice-only days, but mainly like to use juice to supplement my diet.

Juicing is the same principle as why you may get a medical IV line - the IV delivers medicine quicker into your body versus taking a pill. Juicing allows you to consume an enormous amount of vegetables and fruit that you wouldn't be able to ingest by mouth. So you're getting way more nutrients, vitamins, enzymes, protein and oxygen than you would usually. All of this essentially balances your blood pH level, floods your cells and your blood helping reduce inflammation, detox you and boost your immune system. Removing the fibre helps give your digestive system a break.

Here is the deal. You've got to make your juice predominately vegetables, fruit is great (I'm not scared of fruit and sugar like some people) but too much proportionally and you're going to give yourself a huge sugar spike. You've also got to be aware that a sugar spike is associated with taking out the fibre that slows down the digestive process, so the more fruit you've added in the more sugar you're giving yourself. Vegetables have very low GI ratings so you don't need to worry about sugar and veggies.

Juice is best fresh, not the bottle kind you can get. It is the equivalent of processed juice and will have diminished in the essential vitamins and nutrients that you are looking to consume. So juice is best prepared yourself or from a store that juices it fresh for you. 

Make your ingredients organic. I won't labour the point as to why but trust me you do not want to be ingesting chemicals and pesticides on a cumulative basis through juicing. 

Wash your ingredients!! Please! Regardless of if they are organic or not they need a good bath.

Try and drink juice on an empty stomach as food slows down the digestive process. I typically don't eat for 45mins - 60mins afterwards.

If you're new to juicing it can help to ease yourself in. Some suggestions for your juicing experience....

Cucumber - Good base for juicing, high in vitamin C and alkalizes the blood

Celery - High in potassium and B vitamins

Romaine - Sweet tasting

Kale / Spinach - Hard core leafy vegetables. Amazing for you but build up to them

Juicing spinach is actually the best way in which to release maximum nutritional value from it after steaming it

Beetroot / Carrot - For added sweetness and excellent nutritional profiles helping with cleansing the liver and detoxing

Apple / Pear - Low GI fruits so good for your juicing efforts

Ginger / Mint - Just a couple of add in options that help cut through any bitterness of some of the leafy vegetables

Juice is different to a smoothie, don't get confused - smoothies still have all the fibre from the vegetables and fruit in them so will definitely fill you up and come with many more calories and sugar. This isn't a bad thing, that in turn gives you more energy. I myself love a smoothie but I have found personally people don't realize the difference between the two as well as being unaware of the amount of calorie consumption via a smoothie. Treat your smoothie as a meal replacement and get in some super foods like chia, flax or hemp seeds as well as good quality fats like avocado.

All this week and throughout My Ultimate Health Project I will be supplementing my diet with juices to get the maximum bang for my buck on keeping my pH levels more alkalized, reducing inflammation and helping build back up my depleted immune system. Juicing is absolutely a route to health for us all cancer or no cancer so I advise you to drink up!

Yoga in Detox Week

A component of the next 12 weeks is to try one thing that is new that relates to each weekly theme. With that in mind yoga was my new thing for detox week. 

I've always wanted to get into yoga and incorporate it into my fitness routine but it just never happened. Time is limited and a sweat fest cardio or hard core resistance training session would always win over picking yoga. Honestly deep down if I admit it yoga would always be the loser because it was new to me and not something I was good at. I would psyche myself out of going to a class worried that I would be wearing the wrong thing (no joke!) or I wouldn't get the poses and movements and would stick out as a newbie like a sore thumb. Never did I stop and think that once upon a time I had been new to all the physical activities that I was now pretty good at and that we all have to have a starting point. Nope. Instead I just perceived yoga as this intimidating, yet glamorous world that I did not have membership for. Always jealous of my friends who are full on advocates of their practice.

How insane is all of that chatter that was going on in my head?! I promise you if you met me I am a very rationale person. Reflecting on this taught me a couple of things. Firstly after cancer and cancer treatment if being laughed out of a class ever happened to me (and it wouldn't) then it wouldn't be the worst thing in my life nor important. Secondly I made decisions based on fear and concern of what people thought of me - a hard thing to admit out loud. Finally I over think certain things. 

As soon as my lovely friends found out Week 1 of My Ultimate Health Project was all about detoxing the yoga suggestions came flooding in. So doing yoga this week was about detoxing, trying something new but also about realizing that psyching yourself out over anything is ultimately the worst thing ever that you can do for your health. Plus listening to those lovely friends who are very wise!

I went to Pure Yoga in NYC which gave me a lovely warm feeling reminiscing about living in Hong Kong and going to Pure as a gym - happy days, good start! No one needs me to go into the details of the class blow by blow, we all get what goes on, I won't insult you. What I genuinely did not expect was that my mind completely switched off and engaged in what was happening. I focussed on my breathing and poses and being connected to what my body was doing. My mind didn't have time for anything else. It was so calming. Yet I sweated, not tons but my body was certainly moving, engaging muscles and stretched in a way that was hugely beneficial after being a physical weakling from my treatment. I felt mentally rejuvenated, absolutely no exaggeration and that was only one class, I am totally convinced of the cumulative benefit physically and mentally of a continued practice. Which is essentially what my friends have been telling me all this time! I'm just glad I managed to get out of my own way to be able to experience it myself, finally.

You're stronger than you think you are in all respects. Have faith in yourself.

Lets Talk Lemons!

This week and beyond I will be incorporating something incredibly simple but with BIG detoxing powers into my routine. Lemon and hot water in the morning. It is pretty well known that lemons are so amazing for you, in fact I think I read more online articles about them then anything else (well maybe the avocado but you can't diss the avocado). Lemons in fact are perhaps becoming the media darling of the fruit world - over exposed. But there is no denying how much they help your body naturally detox which is what we are all about this week.

Lemons create an alkalizing effect in the body which reduces the acidity and pH level of the blood, therefore helping in reducing body inflammation. So straight away they target two of the main culprits of a compromised immune system. Not only do they take down the baddies working on undermining our health but they give us a big vitamin C boost that support us in fighting infections. The liver and lemons are great buddies too - the liver just loves the lemon coming to town and stimulating it to dissolve toxins that have built up and help clear them out. Because toxins are being flushed out of your blood this can have a knock on effect to clearing up any skin issues that you may have and reducing wrinkles.

Big news for those of us with cancer, but hugely applicable to everyone looking to stave off cancer which I am assuming is pretty much everyone - in research lemon has been shown to stop cancer cell division and slow growth of cancer cells. In very simple terms the decision of the cell to divide or die is altered by the lemon juice.

Having lemon in the morning with hot water can replace your caffeine habit allowing you to keep the ritual of a hot drink in the AM, which may help on the psychological side of drinking caffeine but the drink itself has been known to reduce cravings.

In summary there are more benefits that I could go into but for the purpose of detox week these are some of my key highlights. I drink my lemon and hot water first thing in the morning and to get the maximum benefit I wait 20 minutes before consuming any food.

You know what they say...when life gives you lemons, make hot lemon water! 

My Soul Story with SoulCycle

One of my favorite companies and favorite workouts featured My Soul Story today on their community page as well as details of My Ultimate Health Project. You can read the story here - thanks Soul Cycle, see you in a class very soon!

https://www.soul-cycle.com/community/soul-story-petrina-barber/801/

My Ultimate Health Project - Week 1 - Detox

While I was going through surgeries, chemo and radiation my body felt terrible, it was being abused in a way that I’ve never treated myself before. From fasting before surgeries, medicines to consume for bowel preps (yup that’s right - not much dignity in cancer is there?!), the cisplatin chemo drug, the countless other drugs I then needed to manage side effects from pain, nausea, constant vomiting, steroids and the burning from the radiation I was a wreck. A distant cry from the vegetable loving, newly vegan, green juice drinking girl that existed just a few weeks earlier. I promised myself many weeks ago that I would just focus on doing what I needed to do to get through the treatment and once it was finally over then I would give my body the opportunity to try and heal itself and detox.

It is generally regarded that many toxic substances present in our environments play a role in at the appearance of the first cancer cells as well as causing those cells to transform into a more aggressive tumor. These toxins can cause many health related issues throughout the body such as inflammation and altering the pH level of our blood. Inflammation is a normal response to an injury or attack on our body but  chronic inflammation caused by our lifestyle choices and circumstances (such as diet, stress, sedentary lifestyle) is actually a major cause of many diseases - not just cancer. Similarly it is important to maintain a pH level of your blood that is slightly alkaline - around 7.4. Too much acidity can overburden our liver and kidneys (the warriors in the detox process) and deplete oxygenation to every cell in our body.
Detox therefore is an important mechanism in how you can protect yourself against toxin build up, regardless of if you’ve had cancer or not. 

Our bodies all have natural mechanisms and processes for detoxing which is essentially cleaning our blood. The liver plays a huge role in the elimination process as do the kidneys, intestines, lungs, sweat glands and lymph nodes. A typical lifestyle can overload our bodies with toxins meaning these organs have to work even harder to support the detox process, to a point where all impurities may not be getting correctly filtered out anymore. Detoxing can really help if you suffer with skin conditions, bloating, fatigue and puffy eyes to name a few.

For me though my principle concern for detoxing is to give my organs a refresh after all the hard work they’ve been doing for me with the chemo drugs, reduce inflammation within my body that fosters cancer growth and restore the pH balance of my blood. Cisplatin in particular can be hard on the liver and kidneys and is one of the chemo drugs known to cause the most nausea and vomiting as well as hearing loss (I got ringing in the ears folks from chemo too, how fabulous is that?!) Additionally it can cause bone marrow suppression which is particularly worrisome as bone marrow is directly related to producing cells that are responsible for your immunity. Unfortunately but not surprisingly this has happened to me as my white blood cell count is very low - a common side effect of chemo treatment but something to be aware of as you are at greater risk of infection. But lets be real here - everyone should want to be in a position where their immune system is strong and you are able to fight off infections and disease and live a healthy life.

So what is my objective this week? 

I’m going to be minimizing my exposure and ingestion of toxins by consuming a diet high in organic whole foods and zero processed foods. 

Some people detox differently by fasting or juicing. Whilst I have juiced previously for very short periods of time (2-3 days) this approach is far too aggressive for me at this juncture. If you haven’t done a detox before I wouldn’t start with fasting or juicing. Eating organic whole foods will detox you in a way that does not leave you feeling deprived of food so has a psychological impact on your ability to be successful.

My 6 step Ultimate Health Detox*

1. I aim to eliminate refined sugar, white flour, dairy, caffeine and alcohol - this one won’t be tough, as you may imagine alcohol suddenly becomes bottom of the priority list when you feel so utterly rubbish from cancer treatment! This will be the first step in reducing the task on my organs and reducing overall body inflammation. 
2. My vegetable and fruit intake will increase thereby helping my blood level maintain a more alkaline level and to increase antioxidants present in my blood.
3. All food will be organic to minimize exposure to antibiotics, hormones, pesticides and artificial chemicals. 
4. Food will be mainly consumed raw.
5. I will be exercising to move my lymph system and blood which will aid in detoxing through sweat.
6. Optimal hydration by drinking half my body weight in oz.

* Throughout the rest of the week I will be additionally trying out suggestions provided to me by some wonderful people that relate to detoxing.

There we have it. 6 simple steps to start helping my body heal itself, not a radical or completely “out there” approach and more importantly something that is achievable and I am likely to stick to. Detox can be a complicated subject and it’s easy to get lost in the weeds and overwhelmed or just feel that it’s “not for me”. But it is for everyone and I hope that I have managed to successfully articulate why it’s important for all of us (not just those with cancer) as to why these 5 steps would have positive health outcomes for us all.

So what exactly is My Ultimate Health Project?

My Ultimate Health Project is a response to my diagnosis and treatment of cancer that I have been undergoing in 2014. My treatment plan has formally concluded but I must wait 12 weeks before my PET scan which will determine if the treatment has been successful and if I am in remission. The alternative is not a scenario I want to spend too much time pondering. 

The diagnosis and treatment has mentally and physically depleted me. It starts off mentally with the diagnosis and then as the chemo and radiation kicked my ass (hard) and as basic functions like the ability to walk / stand and brush my teeth became near impossible, my mental state was taken down a further few notches. Suddenly things that you took for granted you can no longer do. Walking exhausted me, tying my shoelaces impossible, brushing my teeth non existent. I had been the girl who would get up at 5am to workout without fail everyday and then walk to work just to get some more in. Now I couldn't even shower. It's a humbling, humbling place to be in when you realize how incredible your body is and how much you ask of it.

My Ultimate Health Project is about regenerating myself mentally and physically over a 12 week period. It's about being grateful to my mind and my body for allowing me to live a life and do things that I never want to take for granted again. This project is about presence not perfection. I don't want to strive to be perfect, i just want to be there for new opportunities while life is happening experience and experience it.

Some rules of the road…

1 My Ultimate Health Project is 12 weeks long commencing on Monday 17th November

2 Each of the weeks will have a theme related to mental or physical wellbeing that will attribute to my overall health. Each week I will explore that theme on my blog

3 One of the things that I do when exploring the weekly theme must be completely new and something that I have never done before

4 Exercise will run concurrently through the 12 week period and not be an independent theme. The objective for this is to regain physical strength, endurance and muscle that has been lost through surgery, chemo and radiation. This is absolutely NOT about losing weight. I will be following Kayla Laitsines 12 week program. Details can be found at http://www.kaylaitsines.com.au

5 Anyone can suggest themes or topics for me to explore or people to connect with - I am open

And that's really it. The rest will figure itself out as I get going. There was a time for a while while I was having treatment that I could never have imagined making it this far. That my body would be able to be used to help restore me to health. I am so grateful that I am in a position to be able to do this and hopefully show and inspire others that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hopefully the light at the end of my 12 week Ultimate Health Project will be remission but I am going to make sure that the journey to whatever destination I end up at is pretty awesome.

Diagnosis Cancer - the start of my Ultimate Health Project journey

I am prefacing this blog by saying that I am no medical expert, I have no medical training in cancer and fully recognize that there are many different types of cancer with many levels of gravity. I do not pretend to know or understand what someone else living with or supporting someone living with cancer is going through and this blog is not to speak for everyone. It is about me, my diagnosis, my perspectives and experiences of my own cancer and my Ultimate Health Project. We are all on our own journey and this is part of mine. 

I knew something was wrong for a few weeks before I was told that I had cancer. My "Spidey" sense even told me that it was cancer, I said it once to my husband half hoping to be rebuffed for my crazy talk, half testing the waters to see what it sounded like out loud rather than in my head. I said it once to a colleague because even though I thought it may be true I still thought it sounded too ludicrous to be my reality, I was too young in my very early 30s and who has a baby and then gets cancer during that happy time?! But it actually was my reality. 

It probably sounds ridiculous that someone "knows" they have cancer. How do you really know something like that? The best comparison to draw is probably if you've had the experience where you "know" you're pregnant. It's not confirmed yet but you just "know" it based on how you're feeling. My lifestyle has led me to be very in tune with what is a normal benchmark for me, any deviation on this benchmark I can usually attribute to something that I ate / drank / didn't sleep / worked out for too long. I just couldn't account for why I was feeling the way I was. I rationalized it in the end that I had only, 5 months ago, had my first baby and returned back to work. These two factors were surely the reason that I was exhausted - even though the baby was sleeping through the night and I was getting more sleep than before he arrived! I ignored my intuition for a few weeks, putting off going to the drs, saying I was too busy but simply in denial, not ready to hear what I thought it was.

The diagnosis is just the beginning of the journey. From a health perspective it is unequivocally the hardest, most challenging situation I have ever encountered and would suggest I am likely to. It hits you on all fronts, you can't prepare for it. Your health deteriorates and not just in the obvious "I have cancer" way that you would expect. You are challenged mentally, physically, spiritually, with your relationships and sometimes with things you never would have thought about previously.

Even though I have strong beliefs relating to food, nutrition and the body's ability to heal itself I decided that a purely holistic approach to my treatment was not for me. I wanted to blend my knowledge and understanding of health alongside the western medical system. As such I have had several surgeries and intensive radiation and chemotherapy to treat my cancer. The treatment of cancer itself has had a serious impact on my overall health. Radiation and chemotherapy don't discriminate within your body around healthy and cancerous cells. Their job is to destroy the tumor / cancer, there are clearly casualties along the way with this methodology. My formal treatment plan has officially finished and now I am in a weird limbo stage where we wait for 3 months to see if it has worked and if I still have cancer or not. Talk about a guillotine hanging over your head!

So these next 3 months or 12 weeks are going to be dedicated to more than hanging around waiting to know what the deal is. That's not my style anyway. Instead I will be embarking on my 12 week Ultimate Health Project. A project dedicated to rebuilding my well being in every way, exploring new possibilities and living life. It's a project of gratitude. I am grateful I am in a position to be able to do this at this point in my life.